when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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