i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You can't just leave with hair like that
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
