So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
