It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
