Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
