your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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