Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
