Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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