I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
