My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
