Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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