My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
