Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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