My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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