The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Blood and glitter go together right?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
