yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
This toilet bowl is my home.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
