Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
