i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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