thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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