Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
