how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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