im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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