let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
