imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
