Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
