My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
