More tranny stories later!
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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