i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
