no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
