Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
