I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Girls should come with a carfax report
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Randomize
