I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
