if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
