At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
