There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
