I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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