and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
