It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
