He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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