Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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