Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
