I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
