he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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