We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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