butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
