the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
