how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
