wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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