my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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