Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
