you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
