Non-Jews are for practice
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
