What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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